


Can't let him go

by hykiwo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mention of Death, SO SORRY, Supernatural Elements, at 3 AM, hyungwon is a grim reaper, somehow dramarama inspired
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 18:52:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12754131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hykiwo/pseuds/hykiwo
Summary: It was winter and the sky has been grey the whole day... Kihyun wondered if today will be the first snow of the year..





	Can't let him go

**Author's Note:**

> Hi !  
> I'm back with a new when I currently didn't finished the other one haha,,,, but I felt really inspired and had to write my idea down so... Here we are ! I hope you'll like it !  
> Also, I wrote it a 3 am and english is not my native language so... I'm sorry if there's any big mistakes..

_"You taught me the courage of stars before you left._  
_How light carries on endlessly, even after death._  
_With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite._  
_How rare and beautiful it is to even exist."_

Kihyun couldn't think that his life could be more beautiful than it was at that time. He was about to become a kindergarten teacher like he has always dreamt of, he had good friends, a loving family, and his boyfriend. 

It's been almost three years since he and Hoseok started dating. They've met on their first year of college thanks to a mutual friend, Lee Minhyuk. The two were invited at one of Minhyuk's party and got along almost immediately. Since then, they moved out of their dorms, and were sharing a small but cosy apartment. They both had to find a part-time job to pay the bills and the rent, but, when Kihyun wake up in the morning, wrapped in the strong and warm arms of his boyfriend, he thought that it was totally worth it. Hoseok, him, was a music major, wishing to become one day a famous producer, and Kihyun was his muse, inspiring him the most beautiful love songs, written on a lazy Sunday, the small frame of Kihyun nestled against him. 

Despite some fights, they both were living the perfect life.

Kihyun was working on night shift at a café after his classes four times a week with one of Hoseok's friend, Hyunwoo. Since Hoseok always finish his classes late, Kihyun would always pick him up after his shift so they could go home together, or Hoseok would come to the cafe to eat something while waiting for the end of Kihyun's shift.  
That day was a day like the other, Kihyun would wake up first, take a shower and drink a cup of strong coffee before waking Hoseok up when he was leaving for class.  
They would exchange some messages until they meet for lunch with their group of friends. Kihyun always arrives first at their usual table at the cafeteria of the campus, soon joined by Minhyuk, Hoseok, and the rest of their little group of friends. 

Minhyuk was a literature major, but he liked to throw parties every week more than studying Shakespeare.. There was also Jooheon, a friend of Hoseok's, known for his dimpled smile and his incredible abilities to rap, he was in the same course as Hoseok. With Jooheon was always Changkyun, the younger of their group, he was kind of a computer nerd but was always the first one to ask Jooheon for a rap battle during Minhyuk's parties. And last was Hyunwoo, the business student who used to take dance classes with Hoseok in high school.  
The six of them would always gather at lunch, to talk about their morning, complain about their assignments and their tests. Hoseok was always sitting next to Kihyun, one of his hands resting on the other's thigh, because he was a touchy boyfriend, and if Kihyun was more shy when it comes to public display of affection, with time, he learned how to appreciate Hoseok's little attentions. 

"Guys, don't forget about the party tonight ! " Minhyuk said, munching loudly on his food " It's gonna be lit !"  
" I don't know man, I have midterms coming soon.." Changkyun answered and the others nodded at his words.  
Minhyuk's smile changed to a pout and he leaned over the table to punch Kihyun's shoulder lightly.  
"Kihyun, the bestest of my best friends, are you going to abandon me too ? "  
Kihyun frowned and shook his head, sighing loudly " I also have midterms and I'm working tonight."  
"Aaah come on, when was the last time you came to a party ? Is Hoseok the one not letting you go ?" 

Both Kihyun and Hoseok facepalmed at Minhyuk's statement.

"Are you kidding me ?" Hoseok said in an offended tone " I'm always trying to take him out but he always says he's too tired to do so." he added with a smirk on his lips, looking right into Kihyun's eyes.  
"Oh lord, I didn't knew that my best friend would become a housewife this early... " Minhyuk joked and the whole table laughed at it, causing a bright red colour to appears on Kihyun's cheeks.  
"Fuck off Minhyuk" he spat out in response, shoving angrily a spoonful of rice into the latter's mouth to shut him up.  
Kihyun sighed once again, looking at everyone before closing his eyes "Okay I'll come, but I won't stay late."  
" Well if Kihyun is going I'll go too." Changkyun said " We don't see that every day !"  
Kihyun could've killed the younger right there, on that table but he just gave him a cold smile before feeling a pair of lips on his cheek. He turned his face just to find Hoseok smiling at him.  
"It's gonna be fun, you need to relax." the older said, leaving a peck on Kihyun's lips quickly before returning to his meal. 

Hoseok was more of a party boy than Kihyun was. It's not that Kihyun didn't liked parties, he liked to have fun, to drink, sing and dance only to wake up with a pounding headache the next morning.. But lately his studies were taking all his time and he was simply exhausted.. Maybe Hoseok was right, going out would help him to decompress a little.  
After that they all went back to their classes, Kihyun and Hoseok agreeing to the fact that Hoseok would go to the party first and Kihyun would join him after work.

The younger finished his class at 4 p.m and took his car to go to work. It was winter and the sky has been grey the whole day... He wondered if today will be the first snow of the year.. It was a busy day at the café and Kihyun didn't saw the time passing by as he kept on taking the orders of the customers. At some point a little girl started to shout happily, pointing at the window to her mom, and when Kihyun looked up, he noticed that snow has started to fall slowly. He received a text from Hoseok, telling him to drive safely once he get out of work. 

Kihyun got out of work around 8 p.m, wrapped in his big jacket, he waved goodbye to his co-workers before heading to his car. Snow was now falling hard, so he sent a text to Hoseok, saying that he'll probably arrives late. He then got in his car, turned on the engine and putting the heater on to be comfortable.  
He was driving safely, singing along with the radio, Kihyun liked the snow, he couldn't help but being an hopeless romantic and for him, snow meant movie marathons on a cold afternoon, hot chocolate and warm blankets.. Kihyun was daydreaming and saw the red light maybe a tad too late, but he braked, cursing a little for being distracted.  
However, Kihyun's car didn't stopped, the road was covered in snow and frost.. He didn't even had the time to react when he was blinded by bright lights.  
The last thing he heard was a loud honk, his body shacked violently to the left, his head hitting the window of the driver's door.  
His world was spinning, shaking, and his body aching, he suddenly felt dizzy... So so dizzy..

_"I’d give anything to hear_  
_You say it one more time,_  
_That the universe was made_  
_Just to be seen by my eyes."_

 

2 hours later. 

 

Hoseok's leg was trembling nervously as he kept on looking at his phone... It's been two hours since he last heard of Kihyun, the latter not answering his texts, and he was starting to feel anxious. It was so unlike Kihyun to not answer his texts for such a long time when he was expected to join him somewhere. 

"Maybe he got tired and went home after work and fell asleep as soon as he arrived ?" Jooheon tried, sitting next to Hoseok as the others where partying.  
"He would've texted me back.. I... I'm gonna go back home to see if he's there." Hoseok said, his voice shaking, he tried his best to stay calm but he was seriously starting to freak out.  
" I'm coming with you, you're too stressed to drive and it's snowing hard out there." Hyunwoo appeared in front of him and Hoseok nodded, getting up to grab his coat.  
"I'm coming too, I have to beat his ass for worrying the hell out of my favourite hyung." Jooheon said as he got up as well, giving a warm smile to Hoseok in an attempt to make him feel better. 

The three of them went to find Minhyuk to explain the situation before they left and the latter just asked them to send him a text one they knew where Kihyun was.  
The drive back to Hoseok and Kihyun's place was quiet.. Hoseok kept at glancing at his phone nervously.. Hyunwoo maybe drove a little faster than necessary and they got to the apartment pretty quickly despite the snow and the disturbed traffic. 

But when Hoseok entered the little apartment, followed by Jooheon and Hyunwoo, Kihyun wasn't there. It's when Hoseok started to freak out for real and his friends too. Kihyun wasn't the type to just disappear in an hour.. The three of them tried to call him, to send him texts... But he never answered.  
It's when Hoseok tried to call his lover for the hundredth time that he received a call from an unknown number. When he picked up, he let the person talk and his hands started the shake, his face becoming paler than ever. He couldn't look away from Hyunwoo's and Jooheon's concerned looks when he dropped his phone on the floor, tears forming in his eyes.

"Kihyun got into an accident he.. They said I have to hurry.. " 

 

\----------

 

Once again Hyunwoo drove as fast as he could, but the traffic was highly disturbed, and Hoseok as panicking in the passenger seat. Jooheon called Minhyuk during the journey, letting him know about the situation, Minhyuk affirming that he and Changkyun were joining them at the hospital as soon as possible. 

Maybe half an hour passed before Hoseok stumbled at the reception desk, stuttering Kihyun's name and who he was to him. The receptionist searched for a bunch of second before calling someone at the desk and motioning to the little trio to take a seat in the waiting room. After a few minutes a doctor appeared, calling Hoseok's name. The latter got up quickly and his heart sank at the doctor's expression.

"Mr Yoo is going under surgery right now, his car got hit by a truck, a witness said that Mr Yoo braked too late and couldn't stop in time because of the snow.. He's currently in a critical state, he experienced several cardiac arrests, you... You should prepare yourself for the worse. I'm sorry. "

The doctor words echoed in Hoseok's head and he had to sat down to proceed what was happening, not even noticing Jooheon's hand on his shoulder. He didn't noticed when Minhyuk and Changkyun arrived in the waiting room, neither when nurses were suddenly running towards the operation area.  
All the memories with Kihyun were flashing in front of his eyes, from their first date, to the moment Kihyun asked him out, when they shared their first kiss, when he felt Kihyun's naked body against his own for the first time, he remembered the passion of that instant, the warmth of Kihyun's small hands on his back, the sounds of pleasure that he made... He remembered when they moved in together, when Hoseok gave him a couple ring on their 2 years anniversary, he remembered Kihyun's smile, his laugh, he way he sang for him when Hoseok couldn't sleep.. Everything was coming back to him like he was the one dying.. He needed to see him, to feel him, right now... 

He didn't know how many time they waited before the doctor came back in the waiting room. He looked at Hoseok in the eyes, and silently shook his head.  
''We tried everything... I'm sorry."  
His mind went blank after that, but he heard Minhyuk's scream, Changkyun's sobs, he saw Jooheon stomping outside of the hospital, throwing angrily his snapback on the floor, and he saw Hyunwoo lowering his head, hiding his face in his hands. Tears where pooling in his eyes before rolling down his cheeks in an never ending stream. Kihyun was gone. _Kihyun was gone._

A few hours later they called Hoseok to make the identification of Kihyun's body, and Hoseok screamed, shouted, yelled his lungs out at the sight of it.. His Kihyun was lying there, body covered by a white sheet up to his shoulders. His face was covered in bruises and cuts, and if it wasn't for the blueish tint of his lips and the absence of chests movements, Hoseok could've swore that Kihyun was just sleeping.. His grey bangs softly covering his forehead, his lips slightly tugged upward.. He looked so peaceful.. Hoseok couldn't handle it..  
The nurses decided to give him some time alone, and he stayed there, crying for a good ten minutes, before he felt a presence in his back. 

Hoseok turned to look at who was behind him, eyes red from crying too much. Behind him was a tall and lean man, he was wearing an obviously expensive costume and his hair was pushed back elegantly. The man was looking at his watch, sighing lightly before frowning and looking up at Hoseok who was still looking at him.

"Oh, you can see me ?" the tall man asked, a puzzled look on his face.  
"W-who are y-you...?" Hoseok cried, frowning while standing in front of Kihyun's body defensively. 

The tall one stayed silent for an instant, looked over Hoseok's shoulder before closing his eyes, massaging his temple with his right hand.

"I'm Chae Hyungwon. Listen, I don't have time, so I'll make it quick, I'm here to take his soul, you probably think it's crazy but as an human you're definitely not supposed to be able to see me... That's strange.." The guy named Hyungwon paused, obviously in deep thoughts for a bunch of seconds before he started to talk again " Anyway, call me a grim reaper, whatever you want... But I have a job to do so please, move aside." 

His voice was emotionless but Hoseok didn't registered it, letting Hyungwon pushing him to the side so he could stand in front of Kihyun.  
"Wait" Hoseok breathed and Hyungwon frowned, looking at his watch again before sighing an exasperated "What ?"  
"P-please spare his life... I-I'll do whatever you want me too.. Please just.. Bring him back.." Hoseok blurted out with a shaky voice, reaching out to hold on Hyungwon's hand.  
"Sorry I can't do that, I can imagine that it's hard for you, but I can't spare his life." Hyungwon answered simply, his voice remaining as emotionless as it was before.  
"Please I'm sure that there's an option.. I.. I... Just take me instead.. "

Hoseok was desperate, holding unto Hyungwon's hand for dear life.. He just wanted to give Kihyun a tomorrow..  
Hyungwon looked at the other with piercing eyes, then at how he was holding his hand... 

"Are you really ready to give up on your life and your future for him ?" Hoseok nodded, heart clenching in his chest.  
Hyungwon sighed, looking at his watch before nodding. " Then... We can make a deal. Here's what I can do. I can go back in time and bring him back to life, but in exchange, you'll become like me, a grim reaper, you won't remember him, and he won't remember you either, none of your friends, nobody would remember you." Hyungwon explained and he saw that light, that little light in Hoseok's eyes.

Hoseok looked at Kihyun one last time before turning back to Hyungwon. " I take the deal" he simply said.  
Kihyun meant the world to him, life was not worth living without him... He was ready to give up his dreams, on his friends, on his life, for Kihyun to live the life he deserved.  
Hyungwon nodded, and then looked one last time at his watch, pressing the small button on top of it, and Hoseok closed his eyes.

 

\----------

 

"Hoseok"

Kihyun woke up drenched in sweat, sitting in an upright position in his bed, a hand on his chest.. He looked around him, confusion taking over him.  
Why was he in his dorm room again ? He moved out a year ago to live with Hoseok..

"Hoseok.." he repeated, frowning. 

He was about to reach out for his phone when someone knocked on the door and Kihyun got up to open it, Minhyuk appeared in front of him with a bright smile.. When did he dyed his hair back to red...  
"Oh my god if I knew that I'll have to knock on your door to wake you up one day I don't think I would've believe it !" Minhyuk laughed "But man, you better hurry you're gonna be late !" he added.  
Saying that Kihyun was confused was an understatement and he was looking at Minhyuk like is the latter was an alien.  
"Minhyuk... Where is Hoseok... ?"  
Minhyuk raised an eyebow " Hoseok ? Who's that ?.. Oh my god don't tell me that you went out yesterday without telling me and got laid with a stranger.. "  
The red head started to laugh again but Kihyun didn't moved, instead he looked at his feet blankly.. What... What was happening..

_"With shortness of breath, I’ll explain the infinite  
How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist."_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading ! Comments and Kudos are welcomed, I'll try to update as regulary as I can !  
> The quoted lyrics are from Saturn by Sleeping at last :)


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